The Kindergarten Nightmare
by thunderbolt-sunshine
Summary: When a prank of Fred and George's goes badly wrong in the summer after the Triwizard Tournament the entire Order of the Phoenix are deaged to toddlers. With nobody else to turn to the twins, Ginny and the Golden Trio have to handle the situation on their own as well as cope with the ever present threat of Voldemort.
1. Chapter 1

"What the hell did you do?" Hermione and Ginny screamed at Fred and George. Ron merely looked on in horror.

It was the beginning of July and they had all been staying at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, for a couple of weeks. Ron and Hermione wanted to know what was going on in the nightly Order meetings but were starting to accept it wasn't possible so they had stayed upstairs while Ginny and the twins had gone downstairs to spy.

It had only been a few minutes later when they'd heard a massive explosion, a series of tortured screams and then…nothing. Ron and Hermione had grabbed their wands and raced downstairs, envisaging a deatheater attack at the very least. They weren't anywhere near as brave as Harry but they were determined to do whatever they could to help defend their friends and family.

What they found when they got downstairs, though was nothing like what they had expected. The door to the basement kitchen was blown off its hinges and smoke was billowing out through the door. Fred and George were standing in mute horror and Ginny was glaring at them, holding her wand menacingly. The smoke began to clear so Ron and Hermione went to see what the problem was.

Ron nearly fainted and Hermione screamed. Where there had presumably, moments before, been a roomful of adults discussing very important matters there was now a mob of toddlers causing utter mayhem. The kitchen was in the basement and only very basically equipped but chaos still reigned supreme. Much to the on looking Kreacher's horror the 20 toddlers were tearing it apart.

A few were just screaming because they'd hurt themselves falling off their chairs when they turned from an adult to a child. Some had climbed onto the table and were tearing or chewing up what were presumably important Order documents. Some were standing around sobbing because they couldn't see their mummies and daddies and the rest had raided the cool box and the cupboards and were throwing food around and banging pots and pans.

"I repeat," Hermione snarled, advancing dangerously on the twins. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"I-I don't know," Fred confessed. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

The hand in which Hermione was still holding her wand twitched, going up and down, as though she was physically forcing herself to go against her body's compulsion to curse the twins. "What was supposed to happen?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"When we activated our device 20 tiny golems, one for each person in the meeting, were supposed to slide under the door, record what's going on in the kitchen and then come back out before they do," George said.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight," Hermione ordered, looking like she was barely restraining herself from throwing down her wand and punching the twins in the face. Looking relieved to be escaping the chaos but also faintly guilty that they were just leaving the others to deal with it, Fred and George slunk off upstairs. "God, this is why I've never liked those two," Hermione said to Ron and Ginny, a faint note of hysteria in her voice. "They never think things through! I'm going to kill them one of these days."

"If you hold off mum will definitely do it for you when she gets back to normal," Ron said.

"But how is she going to get back to normal?" Ginny asked. "If not even the twins know what happened we have no idea how to reverse it. And how the hell are we going to take care of 20 little kids while we figure it out?"

"What do you mean we're taking care of them?" Ron asked, alarmed.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Use your brain, Ronald. The house is under fildieus charm so nobody Professor Dumbledore hasn't already given access to can come in and it's not like he can give anyone access now. We can't exactly go outside with 20 infants, either. No, Ginny's right I'm afraid. We're on our own. We're going to have to figure this out ourselves."

"I suppose it's too much to ask that they've just been physically deaged, that they still have their adult minds and memories?" Ginny asked.

"Do you really think they'd be acting like this if they were mentally still adults?" Hermione asked. "No, we have 20 actual infants on our hands. When I've calmed down a bit, when I don't think I'll kill them on sight I'll go and see the twins and demand all their research. Perhaps I'll be able to figure something out from that. In the mean time, though we have to do something about the kids?"

"Like what?" Ron asked fearfully. To Hermione's surprise, this time Ginny was nodding in agreement with her brother. "We're the youngest, for Merlin's sake. What are we supposed to know about little kids?"

Exasperated but still apprehensive herself Hermione ventured into the kitchen and at least tried to put her limited babysitting experience to good use. She was relieved to note that when they were deaged the clothes the Order members had been wearing had shrunk as well so the kids had at least one set of proper clothes but she had a feeling that they were going to need many more baby supplies before all this was over.

"Hi!" she said loudly, pasting a big, fake smile on her face.

The kids who had been crying immediately shrank back in fear at the sound of Hermione's voice but it took her a few tries to get the attention of the ones on the table and the ones raiding the cupboards. Furiously, Hermione gestured at Ron and Ginny to lift the kids off the table before they got hurt as well. "I want mummy!" a little girl whose candy pink hair revealed her to be Nymphadora Tonks.

"Don't be afraid!" Hermione said. "You're all safe here. Your mummies and daddies sent you here for a bit of a vacation so you'll have lots of other kids to play with instead of being stuck at home doing boring grownup stuff."

"Mummy and daddy don't want me anymore!" another little girl wailed.

"Yes they do!" Hermione exclaimed. "You'll see them again, soon I promise. For now, though you're all going to stay here and play with me and my friends. You can call me Mione and this is Ron and Ginny."

It took a long time but eventually the trio managed to get all 20 toddlers to sleep in the five cleanest bedrooms, four in each room. They had no idea whether the kids had eaten before they were deaged, or even whether a meal before they were deaged would still sustain them as kids, so they made sure each child had some honey on toast. It wasn't much but it was most readily available in the Order's kitchen and would at least tide everyone over until Hermione, Ron and Ginny figured out what they were going to do.

It was pretty obvious that they couldn't stay here. The trio had a tough time corralling all 20 toddlers and this was at a stage when the kids were too terrified to disobey them. Once the kids got more comfortable around them it would be too hard to keep them safe in a house filled with all sorts of horrible dark magic. The problem was they had no idea where they could go. Hermione was adamant that even if they left Grimmauld Place they couldn't tell anyone about this. "It'll be a disaster if You-Know-Who catches wind of a toddler sized Professor Dumbledore and if the Ministry finds out about this they'll all be in trouble for joining the Order at the very least," she pointed out.

"True," Ron admitted reluctantly. "We better get this sorted out quickly then because I hate to think what will happen if the wizarding world realize that Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall are missing."

"Truthfully I'm more worried about what will happen if people realise Fleur's missing," Ginny said. "I'm pretty sure I heard someone say her father's third-in-charge of the French Ministry. Her disappearing in Britain could cause an international incident."

"I hate to say it but I don't think we have a choice," Hermione said. "I think all we can do is hope that we can get everyone restored to their proper age and hope they can all explain their disappearances when everything is sorted out."

"What are we going to do in the mean time?" Ginny asked.

"Well presumably the first thing we need is supplies," a voice said from behind them.

Hermione, Ron and Ginny whirled around only to see the shamefaced twins slinking back into the room. "Decided to show your faces, did you?" Ron sneered. "This is all your fault. I hope you know that."

"We do," Fred said. "And we'll accept whatever punishment mum comes up with when this is all over. In the mean time we want to help deal with the situation that we caused. We have some money so, Hermione, if you'll make a list of what supplies we need we'll go first thing in the morning."

"How do you have so much money?" Ginny asked.

"Doesn't matter," George said. "We're rethinking our plans now. It's all perfectly legal, though." He handed a stack of parchments to Hermione. "These are all our notes on the golems. We can't figure out where we went wrong. Hopefully you can."

"You better hope so," Hermione said coldly.

"We don't know how long this is going to go on for so in the interest of saving a bit of money perhaps you could go to the Burrow and look for supplies in the attic," Ginny suggested. "I know mum kept most of our baby stuff."

"The Burrow!" Ron said. "Perhaps we could take the kids there."

Hermione shook her head, vetoing the plan. "Not a good idea. Professor Dumbledore made your family move in here because he thought that it's too visible a target for deatheaters, remember? It might be okay if it were just the five of us but we'd never be able to escape if we were looking after 20 children when an attack happened. Plus, after Hogwarts, it'll be the first place people look when they realise everyone's missing."

"And the Weasleys have lived there all their lives," Ginny added. "It's pretty obvious that Bill and Charlie don't recognise mum and dad as toddlers so they'd be confused and scared about why they were at home without their parents and with lots of strangers."

"All right, all right it was just an idea," Ron huffed.

"What about Harry?" George suggested.

"What about him?" Hermione asked, not getting what George was suggesting. "And remember that Professor Dumbledore said it was too dangerous for him to be anywhere other than his aunt and uncle's house."

"I think circumstances have changed now, Hermione," Ginny said. "As much as I hate to say it George is right. Remember that even stuck at his aunt's place Harry still had an Order member or two guarding him at all times. There's nobody to protect him now so he may as well leave."

"And you can tell from his letters that he's already mad at us," Ron said. "Think of how much worse it'll be if we keep this from him."

"Plus Harry's the last member of an Ancient and Nobel House," Fred added. "He'll probably have some place we can all go."

"Ancient and Nobel House?" Hermione asked.

Ginny shook her head. "Doesn't matter at the moment. Just remember that even if pureblood politics aren't important to our family it doesn't mean we don't know about them. What Fred's trying to say in his roundabout way is that Harry probably owns a big enough, safe enough place we can go. It'll just be a matter of him going to Gringotts to find out where it is."

After a long moment Hermione, who all the Weasleys had automatically assumed was in charge of the situation, nodded. She looked at the twins. "Okay, I'll write you a letter to Harry and you two will take it to him first thing in the morning. See if you can do that without messing it up!"

Shamefaced, the twins turned away again but Hermione, Ron and Ginny all felt that they deserved whatever guilt they were feeling. They had caused this situation and things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

* * *

_Just so you know the list of people who have been deaged are:_

_Albus Dumbledore _

_Aberforth Dumbledore _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_Severus Snape _

_Sirius Black _

_Remus Lupin _

_Molly Weasley _

_Arthur Weasley _

_Bill Weasley _

_Charlie Weasley _

_Alastor Moody _

_Fleur Delacour _

_Mundungus Fletcher _

_Arabella Figg _

_Kingsley Shackelbolt _

_Nymphadora Tonks _

_Emmeline Vance _

_Hestia Jones _

_Elphias Doge _

_Dedalus Diggle _


	2. Chapter 2

Harry Potter hadn't been sleeping well since the disastrous end of the Triwizard Tournament. The most he got was three or four hours of extremely restless tossing and turning each night. Nevertheless he was still startled to be shaken awake by Fred and George Weasley early one morning in July. He sat up in bed not finding it all odd to find his friends in his room. It wasn't as though they hadn't done something similar before. The problem was last time it had been because he was in urgent need of help. This time, though while he wasn't in great shape he wasn't as desperate as he had been in the summer before second year. That meant if Fred and George were here something had probably happened to one of their siblings. "What's going on?" he asked urgently. "What's the matter? Has something happened? Is that why nobody's been writing?"

"Calm down, Harry," Fred said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Everyone's fine. Well…sort of."

"We're not allowed to tell you what's going on," George said, hanging him a tightly rolled scroll of parchment. "Hermione wrote you a letter. She says it explains everything. She wants you to read it and then tell us what to do next."

Curious and worried Harry opened Hermione's letter. The more he read the angrier he got. So Professor Dumbledore had thought things were so dangerous for him now he had to stay here all summer but hadn't been going to tell him that? He'd spent the last couple of weeks visibly lonely and isolated from the wizarding world but had had at least one witch or wizard watching him at all times? Now everything had gone to hell and they were on their own because the twins had managed to turn everyone who could have helped him into toddlers? As much as Harry hated it here he would have gladly remained at Privet Drive all summer if it meant Sirius and Mr and Mrs Weasley being safe. They weren't, though because despite her optimism in front of the Weasleys Hermione confessed in her letter that she wasn't sure if what had happened to the Order members was reversible.

"You idiots!" Harry snarled, jumping out of bed and pulling some clothes on over the boxer shorts he'd been wearing.

He quickly threw the few things he'd bothered to unpack back into his trunk, hurriedly preparing to leave. Harry thought guiltily of his mother's blood protection which Professor Dumbledore had only ever told him vague information about. He had an inkling, though that if he left Privet Drive at this early stage of the summer it would be gone forever. It couldn't be helped, though. He needed to get to Gringotts and then to help his friends. He'd never heard anything about his Ancient and Nobel House stuff before so he doubted he owned properties like Hermione seemed to think he did but at the very least he would be able to get his friends some more money for supplies and then go and stay at the Burrow and do some research which would hopefully help Hermione figure out what had happened to Sirius and the others.

"We know, Harry," George said sadly. "We're sorry."

"Sorry!" Harry snapped sarcastically. "Well that makes everything okay then, doesn't it?" He snapped his trunk shut and shoved it at Fred, knowing that since the twins were of age now they could use magic without getting everyone into trouble with the Ministry. "Shrink that for me."

On an old piece of parchment he quickly scribbled a note for Hermione: _Twins arrived. Told me what's going on. About to go and see about a safe house. Will then go and get supplies. Hopefully I'll see you later today. _

He attached it to Hedwig. "Take this to Hermione, girl. Stay with her until I come for you."

She affectionately pecked Harry's ear and then swooped off out the window, clearly delighted to have something to do. Harry claimed his shrunken trunk from Fred and slipped it into his pocket. "Where to?" George asked. "Hermione didn't say."

"Gringotts," Harry said, still angry. "Hermione doesn't think it's safe for me and two Weasleys to be seen buying baby supplies in Diagon Alley so while I talk to the goblins about properties you two need to get your money converted to muggle currency. We'll have to go out into muggle London."

"Right," Fred said, grabbing Harry's arm and apparating away.

Harry didn't bother leaving a note for his aunt and uncle as he knew they wouldn't care he was leaving. Actually, if anything they would be delighted. Harry gagged as Fred apparated him into Diagon Alley. He definitely preferred flying to apparation. It had felt like he was being squeezed through a tiny tube. He had a feeling that if his righteous anger hadn't been keeping him focused he would have been on his knees retching right now. Ignoring all the whispering that started when people realised who he was Harry swept down the alley towards Gringotts. "Wait for me here when you're done," he said to the twins, gesturing to the stairs of the bank. He then went inside and approached the nearest available teller, laying his key down on the desk. "Hello, I'm Harry Potter. If possible I needed to speak to someone privately about my account."

"Of course, Mr Potter," the teller said, picking up the key. "Right this way. We've been expecting you."

"Oh, right," Harry said, bewildered. Had Hermione written ahead that he would be coming?

He wished it was that simple. He was led to a conference room and read his father's Last Will and Testament. Apparently the vault he'd been using since he was 11 years old was just a trust fund and he was to get access to the rest of the Potter Estate when he came of age on his 17th birthday. When his name had come out of the Goblet of Fire, though he had been considered a participant in a binding magical contract. Only adults were allowed to be part of such agreements so after he'd participated in the First Task the Ministry had been forced to acknowledge him as a legal adult. That meant he could live alone, use magic outside of school without getting into trouble, learn to apparate and access the entirety of his inheritance from his parents. Harry felt a hot surge of anger as he read over the inventory of his estate which he was handed. There was no way that Professor Dumbledore hadn't known about this. Why hadn't the old man ever mentioned anything?

'Because if you'd known about all these houses you never would have agreed to go back to Privet Drive and Professor Dumbledore's obsessed with you staying with the Dursleys,' a voice in the back of his mind said.

Harry gritted his teeth in anger. He'd known for years that Professor Dumbledore was keeping secrets from him but that had been okay because he trusted the old man to protect him. Now Voldemort was back, though things had to change. Harry promised himself that he would sit down and have a serious talk with the headmaster as soon as possible presuming, of course, that they could get the old man restored to his proper age. He was furious that Professor Dumbledore hadn't at least come up with some story, even if it was a lie, which would have let him know he could use magic at Privet Drive. It would have made things so much easier with the Dursleys and even if he was cut off from his friends, his godfather and the rest of the world he could have done something productive like practise defensive spells he would need now Voldemort was back.

For now, though Harry forced himself to swallow his anger. It wasn't, after all, the goblins' problem. He finished reading the inventory and saw that he was a billionaire several times over, he owned properties and businesses all over the world, he had vaults full of family heirlooms and even though he wouldn't be able to sit on the Wizengamot until he really was 17, as the last surviving Potter as soon as he put on the Family Signet Ring he would be considered Lord Potter and would have numerous political, legal and financial responsibilities.

After growing up with nothing the whole estate looked really overwhelming but Harry hoped that with time (and probably Hermione's help) he would be able to figure it out. He turned his attention to the list if properties, looking for a place to go. "This island?" he asked the goblin. "What is it?"

"Your great-grandfather brought it as a wedding anniversary gift for your great-grandmother some 25 years ago," the goblin explained. "He wanted his wife and the rest of their family and friends to have a safe haven to retreat to in light of the rapidly worsening war so the entire island is protected by wards that will automatically kill anyone who tries to cross over them that wishes the current Lord Potter harm. Unfortunately before it could be used he and his wife, son and daughter-in-law were all killed, leaving your father as Lord Potter. Politics never interested him and he never went over the estate in detail so I doubt he even realised he owned the island or I imagine he would have taken you and your mother and gone into hiding there rather than go with the plan that got him and his wife killed and Lord Black incarcerated."

Harry was momentarily startled that the goblins knew the truth about what had happened back on 1981 but then he remembered that the goblins had been letting Sirius access his vaults and were helping him in other ways even though he was a wanted fugitive so they had to know the truth. "Yeah, I imagine so," he sighed, trying not to wonder what could have been if his father had been just that bit more interested in their heritage. "So, this island it's set up for lots of people to go and live on it?"

The goblin nodded. "It's got facilities for 50 people already and more than enough room to build more. Even without occupants the house elves have kept everything in order so if need be you can move in immediately."

Harry winced at the mention of house elves. Hermione was going to have a field day with that one but he told himself that they had bigger problems to worry about than house elf welfare so maybe she wouldn't be too bad. "And how would I get there?" he asked. "There are a few people in the group who would be coming with me who can apparate but not even I know where the island is."

"Your family signet ring will serve as a portkey to every entailed family property," the goblin told him. "So you will have access to the island no matter where in the world you are. You will also be able to bring along one passenger with you. As for everyone else your great-grandfather arranged a permanent portkey for his son and temporary, one-time use portkeys for everyone else. To this day they remain in one of the Potter Vaults. Would you like me to have them brought up to the surface for you?"

"Please," Harry said. "One day soon I'll have to come and take a detailed look around all my vaults but I don't have time today. While the portkeys are being brought could I get 500 galleons and 500 muggle pounds as well, please?"

"Certainly, Mr Potter," the goblin said.

Harry remembered Sirius telling him last year that the goblins would do anything for a price. He was fairly certain that no matter what pressure was exerted on them his actions here today would be kept secret but it wouldn't hurt to make sure. "And while you're at it why don't you take another 100 galleons for yourself to ensure the questions I've asked today are never repeated outside the bank?"

"That is very kind of you, Mr Potter," the goblin said, a gleam in his eye. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually there is," Harry said suddenly, a thought suddenly occurring to him. "I don't suppose you know anything about the fildieus charm, do you? Specifically if it's possible to regain access to a protected building if the secret keeper becomes incapacitated and can't reveal the secret?"

"I don't know myself but for a fee I can arrange for you to speak to one of the curse breakers," the goblin offered. "They will know."

"Excellent," Harry said. "Please do. Finding an answer to that question is probably the most important thing I have to do today."

* * *

An hour later Harry left Gringotts to find Fred and George waiting for him on the steps. His business had taken a lot longer than he'd expected it to but he was extremely satisfied with how everything had gone. He now knew that no matter how long it took to help Sirius and the others he and his friends didn't have to worry about money for supplies running out. They had a place to go where Voldemort definitely wouldn't be able to get hold of them. He would be able to get into the building wherever Hermione and the others were right now and, thanks to the ring he now wore proudly on his hand, he felt a lot better about the many responsibilities he had as Lord Potter.

The twins looked bored but they were clearly afraid to make him angrier by complaining about how long he'd taken. "Did everything go okay?" George instead asked, a slightly wary expression on his face.

"Brilliantly," Harry said. "I got everything we needed and more. Come on. We have to get to London."

Harry had only been to London once or twice and the twins had never been so none of them had a clue where to go to buy supplies for small children. Luckily a passer-by helped them out and soon they were on their way to get everything on Hermione's list. Harry had been a bit apprehensive about what people would think of three teenage boys out buying a ton of baby supplies but, even though he wasn't a very good liar, the shop assistant swallowed his lie about their parents sending them out to get things for a big donation to a children's charity.

They couldn't shrink the many bags they brought but with all three boys discreetly casting featherweight charms on everything their load wasn't too unmanageable. Harry had shared with Fred and George what the curse breaker he'd spoken to had told him about the fildieus charm so within another hour all three of them were on their way back to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Unfortunately Harry had no idea about the chaos he was about to walk in to.


End file.
